I’m tearing up. What is this feeling?
As I stare at a picture of Mac’s face, and listen to his song “So It Goes” simultaneously, I feel loss as if he was my own brother.
And the pain comes from seeing the child in Mac, the pure soul, and realizing how much inner pain he was going through. So much so that the child in him was deeply, deeply hurt.
That when his mother sees her dead son in a casket, she doesn’t see 26 year old rapper man who did drugs, she sees her baby.
And I couldn’t imagine the pain a mother would feel to know her baby was going through such pain. That she would do anything and give everything of herself until he remembers who he really was. And that he felt the love that he had become dependent on drugs to produce for him.
And it’s the same pain I used to feel.
And that I cannot help but cry over the pain we are feeling as humans. And the lack of a clear way to heal that pain. And that people are DYING due to drugs because that’s the best fuckin solution some of us can come to.
I don’t know what to do about this feeling. I just know that it hits me deep.
