It’s 12:11AM, I should be asleep, but somehow I’m up watching old vlogs from 2016 about quitting weed and such. Compared to now, which is quantum light-years different than just two years ago, there’s so much I see and feel from 2016 Gabe that I couldn’t see back then.
Number 1: He’s in pain.
What’s clear to me is that I was carrying much pain and burden from my past. Not just with weed, but with heartbreaks and nearly all negative energy from my past. There’s sadness, even depression in my voice. 2016 Gabe lacked love, mainly from himself. It’s sad to see. Especially because of how filled with love my life is now.
It’s like seeing a puppy depressed. Can’t take it. It’s not right. All I can see is an innocent baby that longs for love, care, and affection. And is doing his best to show he is strong and can do this. He’s doing his best, but deep down he is ripped apart.
And, in hindsight, that’s exactly what was happening. Didn’t see it then. All I can see now.
Number 2: He means well, but he’s not ready.
The reality is that I WANTED success, but I simply wasn’t ready yet. Kind of like a 4 year old that wants to follow dad to work. Intention is great. Attitude is great. But, just not ready. Still some training to be done. Or…a lot of training.
One day youngin. One day.
Anyways…there’s more…but I just wanted to get that off my chest. Oh, self-therapy.
